How to Get Someone Fired
Send us your ideas on how to get someone fired! If it's good enough, we'll feature it!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Orders galore!
pros:
It is completely impersonal and will at a minimum make them look really bad and be a great source of office gossip for many months.
It is a great opportunity to make them look like they like really weird sexual stuff.
cons:
It could cost a pretty penny...
Summary:
This is a really effective way of getting anyone fired, regardless of position. Most companies would rather fire an executive than deal with a sexual harassment case. If you buy enough crude things, it could definitely become a sexual harassment issue. Despite the cost this is a very effective method!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Boss is a Cunt!
The Top Ten Cutest Kittens!
The "One Sided" Convo
" Hey John,
You're boss does sound like a shit head!!! I agree, a severe beating in the parking lot would at least let him know that you don't give a fuck! But you don't want to get fired, no matter how much you think it sucks! Did You talk to Chrissie the other day? Every time I think of her, I crack up! I'm still waiting for the day you try to get in her pants, no matter how fat you think she is haha. Well anyways, gotta go brother, call me later! Let me know how the Chrissie thing goes!
Jeremy
ps I attached those pictures of janice naked that you wanted! Tell me what you think! Babe huh?"
Pro's: It can totally work, and personal involvement is almost completely unnecessary.
If your boss is a really proud person, it could result in a huge inter-office confrontation!
Con's: The boss could say, "Well since there is no proof of you actually sending the emails, I'll believe you are getting set up."
Summary: Overall I think this is a great method! It completely removes the actual victim from the equation. Even if there is no proof that they sent any emails, if you make the responses personal enough, it will just look like the other guy is deleting his sent mail box to hide his illicit emails. In addition to that, no one will ever discover that the emails being sent to you are actually from you (as long as you set the accounts up with fake names and contact email address')!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Operation Shock and Call
This idea is great if you have access to a phone all day long, and nobody monitors your calls. If the person you want to get fired is a low level, easily replaced, piss-ant... than this method should work. Get the number to their work, and begin to call every thirty minutes. Make up a fake ex-boyfriend/girlfriend's, friend's etc. and keep making up excuses to call. Don't call them directly, but keep calling the general line... or even their bosses line. At first, they will actually try to transfer you. To avoid having any awkward moments with the person you are trying to get fired... just hang up after they try to transfer you. Make sure you block your number though, because if you don't they might actually just call the cops. Your number can be easily blocked by simply dialing *67 before you dial the number. This will block your number on the caller id as well as there bill, so there's no chance they will be able to figure out who it is!
*67 404-555-9077
Most of the time, if this person can be easily replaced, the boss would rather just fire them, than put up with the repeated calls. It might take you a week or two of calling all day long, but eventually it will work! And it will feel great! Especially because they are sitting helpless, as they watch themselves get called right out of a job! Genius!
Pro's: 1. It's easy and it costs no money.
2. It also requires very little if any confrontation.
3. It has almost no consequences if you get caught (as long as you don't say anything weird or threatening when you call... which isn't even needed. The actual calling will be enough on it's own)
Con's: 1. It requires patience, as it might take a week or two of calling all day long.
2. It probably won't work with more important positions, i.e. bosses, owners etc..
Summary: It's an effective way to get a low level employee fired in an office setting.
The Classic Drug Bust
Pro's: 1. It will most likely get them fired (unless their boss is a stoner/ tweaker/ cokehead in which he might just ask the person to share)
Con's: 1. If you get caught buying the drugs you could go to jail.
2. Planting drugs on someone is probably a pretty big crime.
3. If you get caught preparing the drugs, i.e. splitting them up in little baggies, and adding cash, it will probably just look like you're the one trying to sell the drugs, and will result in you getting the felony... party foul!
Summary: A very viable but still risky option. If you already have the drugs, the risk might be worth the reward!